Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Don't Wait For Tomorrow

I found out tonight that my neighbor Lora Silvey passed away last week. I feel sick inside right now. Lora was an amazing woman. She was such a strong woman and such a free spirit. Lora had cancer but she refused to let it win. She fought for years and did it with a smile. She loved riding motorcycles with her husband and I would always smile when I heard them ride off on beautiful day. I admired her for her strength and her will to live.

Despite her own battle Lora was always there for us. She was great to talk to and she understood what it was like to battle an illness. When I had Jake she followed this blog and would send me letters of encouragement. She donated to us to help while we were out of town even though they had their own medical bills to deal with.

I came home 2 months ago. Every day I would look over at her house and pray she was doing well. I wanted to go over and check on her but I was afraid that she was home alone and it would be to hard for her to come to the door. I talked to my mom daily about wondering if I should go over or wait until I saw her outside. I did not want to disturb her but I wanted to tell her I was here if she needed me. I always talked about it but always decided that there was always tomorrow.

Before I left she told me the doctors gave her 5 months. It had been almost that when I came back. I am so angry with myself that I did not go over. Just yesterday I told my mom I was concerned because I had seen a few cars stop there. I thought maybe she had taken a turn for the worst. My husband had seen her right before I came home and said she looked good. I took for granted that I would have time. I just kept waiting to see her outside. I knew in my heart I needed to go over, why did I not listen?

Seems like I am always being taught lessons in life lately. I more than anyone knows how fragile life is and I am angry with myself that I did not go over despite my concerns. I was afraid of this yet I still just kept telling myself that I would go over tomorrow but tomorrow never came. If anyone from her family is reading this I am sorry. I am sorry I did not stop by and Lora will always hold a place in my heart.

I pray for peace for Lora's family. She is no longer in pain. Her body is free from cancer. I picture her riding her motorcycle with a smile on her face. God Bless you Lora. Thank you for being such a great neighbor and friend. May your spirit fly high with the angels and be at peace. I will miss you.

1 comment:

  1. I understand what you are saying Kathy. Regret is a terrible thing. If Lora didnt know how much you cared she does now! At the bottom of your blog it says Learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for tomorrow. That is something we all can do.....My mom passed away in January of this year 1 month before my son Aidan was born. She had been in a downturn healthwise for a long time but always was so strong....Literally the backbone of my family growing up! I think having her pass away actually allowed her to be there with me to get Aidan healthy and be strong for him. I felt it was her way of being with me everyday as she couldnt for a long time b/c of her being sick.... I know she was there with us in CHop when Aidan was at his worst, and is here now smiling above watching him progress. Know that Lora is now in a place where she can be there for you everyday to support you as Jacob gets stronger!! Dont let regret stop what you are doing. !!!!
    Aidan's daddy!!