A SOUND I NEVER WANT TO HEAR AGAIN

Jacob was having trouble with pain. He was breathing even heavier than normal and we all thought it was from the pain so they decided to give him another dose of morphine. It was still well within a reasonable amount for him and it was an hour after the initial dose. A little while later Jacob's alarm started beaping and I realized his heart rate had dropped. This is called "brady". He has done this before but it has always gone back up so I didn't worry until it continued to drop. The nurse came in and tried to wake him but he was unresponsive. He was not breathing. Then the fellows came running. By then he had dropped to 52. A normal heartrate is around 130.

They sounded an alarm which I never ever want to hear again. Jacob was in respiratory and cardiac arrest. His body just stopped. The fellows bagged him and got him back within 30 seconds. By then the whole floor had come to his room. There must have been at least 30 people. By then I had turned to the window and was praying. I could not look because I was to afraid that this was the moment I have been dreading.

Other parents have told me how horrifying that sound was and I knew Jacob had done this the day he was born but nothing can prepare you for seeing your child's body just stop working.

Thank GOD the doctors reacted the way they did.

Basically, Jacob had tired himself out by breathing hard and when we gave him the extra dose of morphine his body just forgot how to breath. Unfortunatly it is a fine balance for these kids. One dose may not have been enough but two was just way too much. SO, Jacob is NOT aloud to have 2 doses anymore. Thank God he is ok. I am still somewhat in shock, that moment was so surreal. I really felt like I was watching a movie.

So now Jacob is back in the CICU where he can be monitored more closely. If he does well then we will move back to the CCU tomorrow and will be back on track for going home.

PLEASE pray that the rest of the night is much quieter. My little guy obviously needed some attention and I think he got enough to last a lifetime. 2 times coding in 4 weeks is just way to close for my comfort. I don't think I will be sleeping tonight. Thank goodness McDonalds gives Free coffee to parents staying here.

I will update tomorrow but for now I am going to go be with my baby boy.